Ask Ben: How do I Figure Out My Path in Life?

Ask Ben: How do I Figure Out My Path in Life?

There's a variety of reader and listener questions lately, so I thought it would be fun to share a recent exchange I had with a top performer who asked a great question. 

Here's the original question:

"My name is Dillon, I am a young college student from Utah.  I am someone who is trying figure out what to do with their life.  I am newly married and want to do the best I can for the future of my family.  If you have any advice, I would love to hear it."

 

My Answer:

It's important to understand that intellectually, you will never understand your "path in life" or "purpose." Your mind is in a state of constant motion (like the ocean) and will never let you settle on a singular purpose. Today you may feel like you want to be an author, tomorrow an entrepreneur, the day after that an investment banker. This is entirely normal, and every top performer in the history of the modern world has struggled with this.

Instead, you must embrace the constantly changing nature of your mind. The way you do this is through a formal mediation practice where every day you sit down, focus on your breath and feel into your purpose. If you do this with enough consistency and intentionality, you'll feel pulled to certain subjects or fields of study. You won't be able to explain your attraction to these subjects. Instead, you'll feel an unexplainable visceral connection.

The Secret To Courageous Living Discovered by "The Real Indiana Jones"

The Secret To Courageous Living Discovered by "The Real Indiana Jones"

At some point between 18 and 50, you stop, look around and ask yourself: “Is THIS it?"

You work all day doing pointless work in an uninspiring job. You sit in infuriating bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic. You drive to your local grocery store with the sterile fluorescent lights. You return home to spend a few hours mindlessly surfing the net - too tired to do the things that would set your life in motion. The grand vision of your life seems like a distant fantasy.

As a culture, we've become complacent to work a mediocre job, drive a mediocre car, return to a mediocre home, eat mediocre food, have mediocre relationships, watch mediocre shows on Netflix, lay in mediocre bed where we buy mediocre products on Amazon, binge internet surf on mediocre social media and get mediocre sleep. We wake up only to do the same mediocre routine again and again.

There are too many mediocre things. Your life experience should not be one of them.

Stop Wasting Willpower. Light A Fire Under Your Ass.

Stop Wasting Willpower. Light A Fire Under Your Ass.

Doing the right thing is exhausting. 

Going to the gym. Eating the right foods. Writing your first book. Being present with your partner. Developing your passion project. Putting in extra hours at work. Giving 100% all-out effort. Putting down the remote and reading a book. Moving to Africa to start a school. etc. etc. etc. 

Why is it that everything worth doing is hard? And everything unworthy of our time happens without effort or thought?

Thinking about these questions reminded me of the times I was able to push my comfort zone consistently. The times when I was able to do the right thing and enter periods of exponential personal growth. 

All of these times had one thing in common - I had a fire under my ass. 

Here's the story...

All Leaders Have An Inner Circle - How To Build Your Team From The Ground Up

All Leaders Have An Inner Circle - How To Build Your Team From The Ground Up

You Can't Do It Alone.

Every great leader has an inner circle of friends, mentors, peers, mastermind partners, teachers, pupils and family that are a source of their genius. If you are working toward becoming the best version of you, you'll need a team.

 

The Story Is Wrong

Our culture loves the idea of the genius leader who accomplishes everything on their own. We want to believe that Steve Jobs created all of his Apple products by himself in his parents' garage. Or Mark Zuckerberg coded Facebook while drinking beer in his Harvard dorm room. Or Nelson Mandela single-handedly freed South Africa from Apartheid. 

But, You Can't Do It Alone. 

Every icon, leader and entrepreneur has had a team which supported their goals. 

In the next few sections, we'll break down the fundamentals of building an inner circle so that you can attract the right kind of people in your life and get the support you'll need. 

In this article you'll discover:

  • Why you become the average of the people in your inner circle.  
  • How the people you spend time with will determine your level of success.
  • Who to include in your inner circle.
  • Why you shouldn’t be the smartest person in every room or the most incompetent.
  • How to build it - the practical strategies

3 Books So Mind Blowing They'll Make You Want To Change Everything

3 Books So Mind Blowing They'll Make You Want To Change Everything

Stop.

Think about the influences from your life. All of the moments, experiences and stories that make up every fiber of who you are.

Is there one that stands out? Was it a movie, documentary, book or person? Did it force you to evolve to a new paradigm?

For some, you're thinking of the books that were a catalyst in your life. You understand that words have the power to create change.

In this week's article, we're featuring a guest post from Austin at Heightened Living. He's going to share a few of his influences with you.

Take it away Austin… 

Smart People Read Biographies - Here's 19 To Add To Your Reading List

Smart People Read Biographies - Here's 19 To Add To Your Reading List

Once the motivational flame is lit, it doesn’t take much to keep it going.

One of the best ways to keep the internal fire raging, is to flood your brain with the stories, biographies and memoirs of great people who have achieved the impossible. Their stories inspire us to keep pushing. There’s a reason why almost all transformative leaders read biographies.

Here's 19 you should add to your reading list. 

"Billionaire" Reading Habits -- 11 Ways to Read 52 Books In 52 Weeks, 2X Your Reading Speed and Improve Your Comprehension By 500%.

"Billionaire" Reading Habits -- 11 Ways to Read 52 Books In 52 Weeks, 2X Your Reading Speed and Improve Your Comprehension By 500%.

My 8th grade geography teacher used to say "leaders are readers". I was skeptical. It seemed like a clever phrase designed to trick us into reading, instead of watching another episode of The Simpson's. 

It's been a few years, but I'm finally starting to understand the depths of the phase. After reading the biographies of the world’s peak performing billionaire leaders, it's clear... They read. A lot.

Here's a few examples of "Billionaire Reading Habits":

  • Oprah Winfrey has one of the biggest and most popular book clubs.
  • Bill Gates reads 50+ books each year and takes vacation time each year devoted to reading.
  • Warren Buffet still reads 600-1000 pages each day and spends about 80% of his work day reading. 
  • Phil Knight was a reading fanatic and used the philosophies of great military and business leaders to build Nike into a multi-billion dollar shoe Goliath. 
  • Mark Cuban reads 3+ hours each day.
  • Elon Musk taught himself to operate 3 multi-billion dollar companies (in different industries) through reading.
  • Charlie Munger reads so much that his family refers to him as "a book with a couple of legs sticking out".

If you want to start your billionaire reading habit, below we'll outline a series of strategies that will help you to read at least 52 books a year. In part 1, we'll discuss the basics of starting a reading habit and in part 2 cover specific strategies to 2X your reading speed, improve your comprehension by 500% and build billionaire wisdom. 

What I Learned From 1001 Days of Tracking My Habits: 6 Massive Lessons In Exponential Personal Growth

What I Learned From 1001 Days of Tracking My Habits: 6 Massive Lessons In Exponential Personal Growth

If you're not amazed by how naive you were yesterday, you're standing still.

Over the last 1001 days I've transformed into a completely different person (several times) and the transformation continues at an exponential rate…

Each day I’ve recorded my progress by tracking how I spend my time and if I execute my daily “success habits”…

Keeping this daily record and analyzing my habits has taught me about the massive importance of measuring personal growth…

It’s forced me to be brutally honest with myself about what’s working, what isn’t and make changes when I fall off course…

Today, I'm going to share with you the top 6 things I've learned about personal growth from tracking my habits 1001 days…

Let’s dive in…

In this Article, You’ll learn:
-How to self-awareness leads to personal blasting through mental barriers.
-How to make your best performance today, your average performance.
-The true cost of all personal growth in any field.
-How tiny personal habits early in the day lead to colossal results later.

The 4 Elements of Deliberate Practice -- The Source of Kobe's Greatness

The 4 Elements of Deliberate Practice -- The Source of Kobe's Greatness

As a kid, I remember practicing my jump shot in the driveway. I would imagine the clock ticking down -- "5", "4", "3", "2", "1" and releasing my jump shot, while yelling "Kobe!" --- Only to watch the ball clang off the rim. For some reason we thought that calling out the name of a prominent athlete (Jordan, Garnett, Iverson, etc) would somehow magically cause us to shoot a higher percentage. Perhaps it did.

This was at the age that all of my peers dreamed of becoming a professional athlete. We wanted to be the next Jordan, Pele, Elway or Agassi. We wanted to be superstars and somehow still live the lives of normal kids -- going to birthday parties, playing after school and learning to become productive members of society. We didn't understand the price they paid in order to achieve greatness in their sport.

Similarly, today many of my peers dream of becoming the next Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Malcolm Gladwell, Ramit Sethi, Richard Branson, Marc Cuban or Bill Gates. We want to be a superstar and still live the life of a normal working adult. We want to see our friends, hangout on the weekends, live a low stress lifestyle (no worries), and yet have all of the riches and freedom the life of a high-profile entrepreneur promises.

But, are we willing to pay the price?

You’ll “Sleep Like The Dead” If You Do These 9 Things After 9 PM

You’ll “Sleep Like The Dead” If You Do These 9 Things After 9 PM

It's 4:59 AM and I'm waiting outside of Starbucks at the Dallas/Fort Worth Airport. A mob of exhausted travelers gathers near the entrance and waits impatiently for the barista to lift the gates. Each weary traveler scans the menu with their bloodshot eyes, anticipating the quick hit of caffeine and sugar before they head to their final destination. With their sunken eye sockets, drooping shoulders and outstretched arms, they look more like a group of zombies than a group of upper middle-class business travelers.

After getting my morning cup of coffee, I head to the bathroom and look in the mirror. An unrecognizable set of bloodshot and sunken eyes stares back at me in the mirror.

I am one of them.

As I return to my waiting area I'm reminded of the importance of a good night of sleep and a successful routine that always precedes a night of rejuvenating rest. In the last year, I found that you burn out fast when you aren't doing the little things that set you up for success. With that in mind, I've highlighted 9 things that I try to do each night before bed. I don't always complete each one, but when I do, I know tomorrow will be successful. It’s that simple.

9 things may seem like an awful lot, but you’re already doing 9+ things each night and what I'm going to describe isn't that crazy. Most of these ideas I've borrowed from top performers like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlie Munger, Dave Asprey, Napoleon Hill, Thomas Edison, Jim Rohn and my dad.

My intention with this is to give you a set of tools to help you maximize your nightly routine.

See what resonates with you. Try one. Maybe two. Test and see what happens.

Let's dive in.

The #1 BrainBlock To Avoid At All Costs

The #1 BrainBlock To Avoid At All Costs

The the other day I was in deep conversation with a friend who’s a business strategist, marketing guru and fellow podcaster. I was telling him about the vision for my soon to be released podcast, my goals and my struggles with creating the show.

He asked “What’s blocking you achieving all of your goals for the podcast?”

Immediately my head flooded with all the normal excuses and negative thought patterns -- I’m not good at talking, the title sucks, the theme is bad, it’s not clear, the headline needs to grab attention, my intro is weak, it won’t be good enough, people won't listen to it, i’m an impostor, and who would want to be on my show?

Finally, I stopped -- recognizing the ego based thoughts, paused and took a deep breath and said “Nothing. I just need more reps.”

After our conversation, I thought about it -- my perfectionist tendencies are getting in the way of me releasing the podcast. My desire to make things perfect is getting in the way of me releasing. If I expect my podcast to be the best thing in iTunes right out of the box, I’m setting myself up for failure and a long and painful journey.


In this article, you'll learn:

  • What's better: Quantity or Quality? The answer may surprise you. 
  • Why learning any new skill is frustrating and what you can do to speed up the process. 
  • The bodybuilding principle which describes all personal development growth. 
  • Why perfectionism is one of the most menacing brainblocks.
  • How you can become unstoppable.  

4 Scientifically Proven Techniques to Amplify Your Meditation Practice

4 Scientifically Proven Techniques to Amplify Your Meditation Practice

Are You Getting What You Want Out Of Your Meditation Practice?

I once told a Zen Philosophy PHD student about my meditation practice. He told me it was cheating. 

According to him “real” meditation means you need to sit for 12 hours each day, for 50 years, in the Himalayas, in complete silence, with your legs crossed, while saying “ohm”, give away all of your worldly possessions, eat nothing but rice and boiled vegetables and drink 35 cups of green tea each day… in order to achieve enlightenment. Or something like that.

In any case, everyone has heard about the importance of mediation and yet very few people are actually making progress in their meditation practice. They learn how to do it and then never improve. It's like the guy who’s been typing with two index fingers for 30 years and never learned how to use both hands on a keyboard. 

If you want to get more out of your meditation practice, this article is for you. 

You'll learn:

  • Why most spiritual teachers have absolutely no idea how to teach meditation. 
  • 4 methods to amplify your meditation practice and take it to the next level (backed by real science).
  • How to meditate like a monk in the Himalayas without leaving your house.
  • One very effective (and expensive) way to teach your brain to monitor itself. 
  • A method you can use each morning to stop your brain from procrastinating. 

7 Tips to Beat Fear from a Man who PURPOSELY Gets Rejected

7 Tips to Beat Fear from a Man who PURPOSELY Gets Rejected

It always helps to learn from the best. If you want to achieve something spectacular, wouldn't you want to learn from those who have hit it out of the park?

Some of the most successful people constantly do this. When Tony Robbins (whose businesses are worth over $6 billion) wanted to write a book about personal finance he interviewed and learned from the best in the finance industry like Paul Tudor Jones and Carl Icahn.

Tim Ferriss the NY Times best-selling author, TV show host, and entrepreneur has made a career off of interviewing and studying people who are the best at what they do.

You can do this too and I want to help. Interested?

I want to share a remarkable story about Jason Comely.

It's a true story of someone who suffered from crippling social anxiety and beat it by doing something someone with social anxiety would never even imagine doing.

Let me paint you a picture of Jason’s former life:

  • He would retreat back to his apartment that he felt was “a cage” on a Friday night because he had no friends
  • He would have to walk away from social situations because his body would feel numb and he’d be short of breath
  • He felt hopeless, frustrated and angry when he’d try to talk to people
  • Jason said he "was mad at himself, with God and the world"

This is Jason’s current life:

  • Let me put it to you this way, you’d never guess he used to struggle with social anxiety
  • He is an active part of his community and is working to help people beat their fear of rejection by a card game he created called Rejection Therapy
  • His story and card game landed him interviews on NPR, numerous blogs and Marie Claire Magazine!

So how’d he do it?

You're A Badass: The Simple 5 "R" Framework To Become Your Best Self Even When You Feel Stuck

You're A Badass: The Simple 5 "R" Framework To Become Your Best Self Even When You Feel Stuck

Becoming the most badass version of yourself is hard work and can be exhausting. Sometimes you just don't have it and feel stuck or like you're not making any progress.

Because you are the driver of your own success, it's easy to stop when you get overwhelmed. No one has a gun to your head and is forcing you become more confident, increase your leadership skills, get fit or make more money. There's no due date. 

You have to be your own motivator, coach, manager, CEO and worker bee and it's easy to get lost in the mindless sea of to-do's, social media, sports, Netflix and societal pressure to conform. Falling off the path is the norm. 

Let's face it -- you will get lost and fall off the path. It's inevitable. What you must learn is: What to do when it happens... 

In this post I'm going to share 5 things that you can use to become the best version of yourself. 

I call it "The  5 "R" Framework of Becoming The Most Baddass Version of You".

In this post, you'll learn about (mostly through car metaphors):

  • How to deal with overwhelm and keep your focus on what matters.
  • A simple software tool you can use to create an awesome dream board (one of my favorite exercises).
  • The worst (and smallest) car in the world. 
  • Jim Rohn and Ronnie Coleman's personal development philosophies.
  • How to become the most badass version of you. 

Are You Too Busy Working To Be Productive? - Interview with Paul Minors

Do you go to bed angry because you didn’t get everything done?

Do you have too much to do and not enough time to do it?

Do you all of your projects sit in a constant state of “under construction”? 

My good friend Paul Minors has THE solution for you!

Recently, I got a chance to sit down with Paul and learn his productivity strategies, hacks and tactics.

In This Content Rich QA, You’ll Learn:

  • How to become a Jedi Master of productivity! (i’m not kidding)
  • Why everyone “feels” busy and yet hardly anyone gets anything done.
  • The one thing you can do to improve your focus.
  • The online course that gave Paul the confidence to start his first online business.
  • The best productivity apps for managing your tasks (you’ll love #1).
  • One amazing book that will cut your “to-do” list stress in half.
  • A simple strategy for getting things done, even when you are exhausted and don’t feel like doing anything.
  • Paul’s role model who taught him how to create passive income.

 

The Consistency Formula I Discovered From Tracking My Habits For 913 Days

The Consistency Formula I Discovered From Tracking My Habits For 913 Days

Everyone knows what they should be doing. That's easy. Doing it is the hard part. 


The other day a reader and friend told me his biggest struggle. He said: "My biggest struggle is that I can't maintain any sort of consistency with my habits. I know exactly what I should be doing, I just can't get myself to stick with it long enough to see results."

After analyzing 913 days of data from tracking my habits.... I've discovered that that are 5 things and only 5 things that help me to be consistent each day. When I follow this simple formula, I'm productive and make progress towards my big goals. 

I'm calling it The Consistency Formula!

23 Ways To Rewire Your Brain To Overcome Fear, Self-Doubt And Resistance

23 Ways To Rewire Your Brain To Overcome Fear, Self-Doubt And Resistance

There are two types of people in this world...

  1. Those who conquer their fears.
  2. Those that get conquered by them.

This post is about the 2nd type of person...

In this post, you'll Learn:
1. How to get out of your head when you are nervous.
2. A simple hack to shutting off nervousness that you can do in 8 seconds. 
3. Why James Bond is NOT someone you want to idolize.

How To Solve Your Creative Problems And Come Up With Your Million Dollar Idea

How To Solve Your Creative Problems And Come Up With Your Million Dollar Idea

Do you ever get stuck on a creative problem?

Trying to come up with the next brilliant business idea that's going to change the world? Blah.
Want to put your personal spin on an existing idea so that you can make it fresh and new? Ick.
Writing ANOTHER article? Booooo.

It sucks. It's hard. It drives you mad. It makes you want to quit. 

Honestly... There are so many problems to solve and things to do, that you just want to take a nap. It would be so much easier to fall asleep and let all of your worries drift away.

But, when you wake up... Your creative problems are still there. Unsolved. Unanswered. Staring menacingly at your face and laughing at your creative incompetence.

How do we solve our creative problems? How do we come up with "the BIG Idea"? And how do we get past our mental blocks?

Whenever I get stuck, I remind myself of the story behind Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich. 

The 7 Step Method To Achieve Any Goal

The 7 Step Method To Achieve Any Goal

To all my peak performing and goal achieving friends out there (yes, that’s you!), let’s discuss the finest and most comprehensive goal setting process available. It’s called…

The 7 Step Method To Achieve Any Goal

Whatever YOUR top new year's goal is -- grow your business, get organized, lose weight, spend less, get fit, be happier, get promoted, fall in love, enjoy life more, you can use this ultra effective goal setting process to achieve your top new year’s goal.

What's Driving Successful People Today? - Interview With Jason Bay of Gen Y Success

What's Driving Successful People Today? - Interview With Jason Bay of Gen Y Success

Jason Bay of GenY Success is a top performer, marketing/business consultant, he’s interviewed 73+ uber successful entrepreneurs in various industries on his podcast and is an all around ninja-bad-ass.

He and I connected and talked about what's driving successful people today (Hint: It’s different than previous generations).

Just and FYI: I took your struggles, suggestions and comments and formed the interview based on those. So if you’ve asked me a question before, you’ll probably find the answer here.

In this interview, we talk about:

  1. Habits, Routines and Productivity: Morning routines of world class performers, productivity hacks, and maintaining high energy levels despite working such long hours.
  2. Marketing, Influence, Mindset and Dealing With People: How to find your mentor over a glass of beer, the single most important aspect of branding, and the secrets of massive self belief.
  3. Resources, books and tools: His most suggested book (hint: it's on my book list), why Ramit Sethi is one person you should be following and the best course in the world about starting your own business from scratch.