Becoming the most badass version of yourself is hard work and can be exhausting. Sometimes you just don't have it and feel stuck or like you're not making any progress.
Because you are the driver of your own success, it's easy to stop when you get overwhelmed. No one has a gun to your head and is forcing you become more confident, increase your leadership skills, get fit or make more money. There's no due date.
You have to be your own motivator, coach, manager, CEO and worker bee and it's easy to get lost in the mindless sea of to-do's, social media, sports, Netflix and societal pressure to conform. Falling off the path is the norm.
Let's face it -- you will get lost and fall off the path. It's inevitable. What you must learn is: What to do when it happens...
Instead of buying into the idea of overnight success, you want to be like Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption -- each day digging a tiny bit of concrete and rock from the metaphorical walls that hold you back. (FYI this post is loaded with metaphors)
After analyzing my habits, behaviors, actions, mental patterns, energy and productivity for nearly 1000 days, I've realized that there are 5 things - and only 5 things that allow me to consistently work towards becoming the best version of myself. When these 5 thing are in place, I make progress, I'm happy, I see the fruits of my labor and I make progress towards my current life goals.
When these things are not in place, I stop working and get lost in the plethora of titillating distractions that can be found on the world wide web.
I call it these 5 things "The 5 "R" Framework for Becoming The Most Badass Version of You".
The basic framework looks like this:
- Result - Do you have a crystal clear vision about what you want? There's no such thing as "too specific".
- Reasons - Why do you want to do this? Can you describe what you want in a short easy-to-understand statement?
- Routine - What routines, habits, mental patterns will I need in order to achieve this result?
- Reference Experiences - Lot's of people dream, not a lot of people DO. Just because you're a dreamer doesn't mean you're a doer.
- Review - You need to know if what you're doing is working, otherwise you can't correct course.
Let's look at each and break down how they can help you become most badass/best version of you. I'm going to use a car analogy throughout this whole article, so hop in the drivers seat and let's go for a ride.
(I told you I was going to use a lot of metaphors :) )
A) Result - Are you crystal clear about what you want?
Clarity is like quality of the car you take to drive towards becoming the best version of you. The more clear you are the better your car will be to take you there.
Clarity about what you want is like driving a Mclaren F1 towards it. Vagueness, ambiguity, and having unclear objectives is like driving a Peel P50 towards what you want. It's cramped, uncomfortable, slow, dangerous and looks ridiculous to everyone watching.
EXTRA CREDIT: How Clear Is Your Vision?
Our brains work well when when it can lock onto a visual target. I recommend that everyone create a vision board at least once a year. From there, you can use it as wallpaper or screensaver on your smartphone, tablet and computer. Make it visible. See it everywhere! You want a consistent reminder of what your best self looks like. [1]
Check out Dream It Alive for free vision board online software. Or if you want a downloadable software for your PC or Mac check out Fotor.
B) Reasons - Do you know why you're doing it?
“Reasons come first, answers come second”
You may know what you want, but do you know why you want it? Have you examined the underlying beliefs that surround all of your goals?
Why do you want to make more money?
Why do you want to get fit?
Why do you want to fulfill your potential?
If the clarity of the result you want is like the quality of the car you drive (McLaren F1 Vs Peel P50), reasons are like fuel in your car.
Shitty reasons provide shitty fuel. Good reasons provide high octane jet fuel that propels you towards becoming the best reason of yourself.
EXTRA CREDIT: How good are your reasons?
The Motivational Seesaw exercise is a great way to create powerful reasons that motivate you to take action. It's the best possible way to create leverage without going the the pain of actual failure.
C) Routine - Are your routines, habits and rituals moving you towards becoming the best version of you?
If the clarity of the result you want is like the quality of the car you drive (McLaren F1 Vs Peel P50), reasons are like fuel in your car, then good routines are like cruise control. They allow you to take your foot off the gas and still work towards becoming the best version of you. (Like I said... lot's of metaphors)
Good routines drive you towards your goals, bad routines will drive you in the wrong direction without you knowing.
If you are overweight, you're routines got you there.
If you're a successful entrepreneur, you're routines got you there.
If you are an accomplished New York Times Best selling author, it was your routines that got you there.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
EXTRA CREDIT: Do your routines allow you to cruise towards becoming the best version of you? Or are they causing you to drive 250 miles in the wrong direction?
You can start tracking your habits today using either the Momentum App or the Matrix Method I describe in this post or use daily journal to track your daily activities. They all work, so use the one that resonates with you.
D) Reference Experiences - Are you dreaming or doing?
It’s a lot easier to want to want something than it is to do it. Dreaming is easy. Talking is easy. Telling everyone and proclaiming your superiority is easy.
Doing is hard.
I know this as well as anybody and yet I still struggle with. For the past year, I've been threatening to start a podcast. I’ve told many friends, my peers, my network and I've committed to starting many times. And what do I have to show for my efforts? Nothing. Yet.
Walking the path is hard or as former bodybuilding champ Ronnie Coleman says:
“Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder, nobody want’s to lift no heavy-ass weights”
If the clarity of the result you want is like the quality of the car you drive, reasons are like fuel in your car, good routines are like cruise control, then reference experiences are like the bridges you must cross on the way to becoming the best version of you.
When you have a lot of reference experiences, you build strong bridges between you and your best-self. If you are stuck in dreaming mode and are not actually doing, your lack of reference experiences result in a bridge that's destined to fall.
Are you dreaming or doing?
EXTRA CREDIT: Create Momentum. NOW!
Think of one thing you've been putting off and have made no progress towards. Got it?
What's one tiny small action you can take that will create positive momentum towards doing it? Is it a calling someone? Sending an email? Applying? Asking? Starting?
Now go do it.
E) Review - Do you know what's working and what isn't?
If the clarity of the result you want is like the quality of the car you drive, reasons are like fuel in your car, good routines are like cruise control, reference experiences are like the bridges you must cross, review is the GPS that tells you exactly where you are on the journey.
For example, this past month, my energy has been really low. Because I track and review my habits in my Matrix Method spreadsheet, I’ve realized that I haven’t slept well, my food intake hasn’t been clean, and I've been working too many long hours.
If I want to improve my energy, I know how to correct course and have a plan of attack.
EXTRA CREDIT: Do You Know What's Working And What Isn't?
After you've compiled enough data either through journaling, tracking your habits or some other method, you can understand the patterns that govern your life.
You'll understand where you are effective and where you need improvement or help.
Sources:
[2] Maltz, M. (1960). Psycho-cybernetics: A new way to get more living out of life. Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice-Hall.